[Jolly2]

At night
When the machines all got turned off
And then trucks arrived all stuffed,
oh no
This rhythm is gonna get ya

In bed,
as you sleepy rest your head and pretend that you know nothing
Now know it
This rhythm is gona get ya

Trumpism is gonna get you
Trumpism is gonna get you
Trumpism is gonna get you

Trumpism is gonna get youu
That's right...


 rhyme is dedicated to the swamp thing

That's why we rigged it, shut up!

[Jolly2]

Quote:

 "why has Amazon taken such an anti-union position?"

Amazon ceo: "Amazon isnt anti union we just dont see the need for a union when we have already done everything a union would"

You see Frank they're commie

[Jolly2]

Welcome to the News room

Our latest poll info

Should Klaus Martin Schwab, be forced to buy a white Cat with a diamond collar?

50% yes

10% absolutely

5% I already wrote a petition and am looking for signatures.

35% almost certainly

Question 2

Should Klaus Martin Schwab be prohibited from buying lazers?

[Jolly2]

This is a great joke one of the best.

Mail in ballots sent out by the state of Pennsylvania 1.8 million for the 2020 election.

MAIL IN BALLOTS RECIEVED ON ELETION DAY 2.5 MILLION 🤣🤣

[Pseudoscience-is-malarkey]

Conan was doing a skit the other day where he and his staff were offering open apologies on air for problems they caused, intentionally and unintentionally. One of his staff pranked him by moving the place star embedded on the tile that Conan is supposed to stand on while delivering his monologue (so he's exactly where the camera needs him to be). So, apparently, when Conan made his entrance to start the show, while as usual doing that clownish waltz of his, he couldn't locate the star right away and (to the confusion of the audience) preceded to the direction of his desk (still in waltz mode) scanning the tile for the star he's supposed to stand on. He then continued to whirl into the studio hallway, finally locating it. Relieved, he proceeded to stand on it while facing the wall, thanking the audience members for their applause, and went right into his monologue with a political joke. "President Trump is again in hot water this week... Yeah, so hot it's going to BOIL!"

[Petrochemicals]

Not exactly P. C. so you will have to edit as you see fit.

A lady went to her doctor and asked about having a sex change operation, the doctor said OK and booked her in for a strapadictomy

[Colin2B]

A lady went to her doctor and asked about having a sex change operation, the doctor said OK and booked her in for a strapadictomy

I suppose if it fits the briefs ....

[Jolly2]

A lady went to her doctor and asked about having a sex change operation, the doctor said OK and booked her in for a strapadictomy

I suppose if it fits the briefs ....

Yeah I'm not sure who change the thread name originally it was- Jokes thread... again.

[Jolly2]

Life of Ryan... again

They say those Latvians are commin

With their pointy hats n that

I don't want their stinking snowcones

So I'm not going out

Not going out!

So I heard their propaganda

There ain't no little man in me

Just go on back to Latvia

dont need you to be free

To be free

Mined up my own front porch
 
Stuck my gator in the yard

Stocked up on some KFC

I'm redneck just get lost

Yeah just get lost

Sweet Home iron bunker

Let those snow cones ran on down

Sweet home iron bunker

Lord know I ain't going out

Ain't going out!

[Jolly2]

Life of Ryan... again

They say those Latvians are commin

With their pointy hats n that

I don't want their stinking snowcones

So I'm not going out

Not going out!

So I heard their propaganda

There ain't no little man in me

Just go on back to Latvia

dont need you to be free

To be free

Mined up my own front porch
 
Stuck my gator in the yard

Stocked up on some KFC

I'm redneck just get lost

Yeah just get lost

Sweet Home iron bunker

Let those snow cones ran on down

Sweet home iron bunker

Lord know I ain't going out

Ain't going out!

One year later Obamacans/mecanicans resistance meeting

REG: "so apart from the fancy happy shoes, badger hugging Tuesday, the new igloo homes, the rubber yellow bouncy trees, and the pink ones, daisy chain Wednesday, the heltaskelta L-train, and 'hoppy' the magic dancing frog  on TV. What have the Latvians ever done for us?

Simon "snowcones?"

REG: "What?!"

Ryan: "oh yeah Reg dont you remember how hard life was before we had snow cones?"

REG: "right! So apart from snow cones... "

[Jolly2]

Swampy Times

mon March 1st 2020


Democrats angered at Bidens failure and devastated at lost opportunity to strike a fatal Blow to MAGA terrorism

A white house insider recently informed the swampy press that Democrats are rather saddened at a lost opportunity,  He who shall not be named it is believed recently held a MAGA rally at a conference centre at which thousands of MAGA terrorist are known to have attended.

The glorious Leader Biden was found napping when secret service personel came to inform him that the Man who shall not be named had gathered his army of MAGA terrorist and was engaged in speaking to them.

"Drones were readied, troops were in place, everything was set and Biden slept." Said a veteran of the Iraq war now deployed to operation 'clean up democracy' "it took us 5 hours to wake him" complained one White House official "by the time Biden woke up and actually signed the drone strike orders, the MAGA terrorists and their infamous leader who shall not be named had all gone into hiding"

"Its a real lost opportunity to really deal a blow to MAGA terrorism and a tragedy for democracy" lamented kamilla Harris "next time they wont be so lucky"

The length of the glorious leader Bidens nap has also lead to heated and wide spread speculation that Russia might have put a sedative in the glorious leaders coffee.

A white house spokesman said "the person responsible for making the glorious leaders coffee, is know to have a friend who at college had a room mate that once met a Russian, the FBI are now heading up an investigation"

[alancalverd]

That certainly ranks among the world's worst, but "science" and "joke" seem to be absent.

[Bored chemist]

"science" and "joke" seem to be absent

Ditto  good punctuation and spelling.
It's what I expect from Trump supporters.

[Jolly2]

WOKE WASH INCORPORATED !

We at Woke wash inc understand that in the current climate, it isn't always easy to find exactly the type of Nazi you need to run your company.

Gone are the days when you could simply parachute in any white sociopath you felt like, to squash the native peoples of where ever.

That's why here at WOKE WASH inc, we have developed a long list of Nazis that you might find helpful, not your average agency, we have Nazis in every colour and persuasion.  Need a Black disabled female lesbian Nazi to help take over your mining operation and give a woke face to the needed brutalisation of the local peasantry that are all clearly too lazy to be paid anything but hot mud and some bugs? We know just the person for the job, maybe you'd prefer a little person from China with one eye not a problem either we have more then a few, but maybe they aren't sociopathic enough? Don't worry with our helpful sociopath registration charts all our employees are listed and rated, so you can be sure no matter how depraved you need them be, our managers will be even worse then you could possibly dream of.

So come on down, find the right nazi for you, then lay back and watch the profits role in, safe in the knowledge no one could ever accuse your company of being racist.

[Jolly2]

 
Swampy Times
back to tommorrow

ELON MUSK UNVEILS NEW HOME DEFENSE DROID.

It was slightly raining when the new Tesla home defence droid stomped onto the Tesla carpark for its first unveiling. The Droid TD209 takes it's name and concept design from the robot ED209 made famous in the Hollywood movie ROBOCOP.

"We based the general design on ED 209 but obviously called it 'Tesla Defense' thus changing ED to TD but generally the overall look of the Tesla home defense droid is almost identical to that of the ED 209 we see in the Movie Robocop." Said an engineer involved in the droids creation, he continued "It was a long process with many glitches, atleast 32 other engineers got shot and 3 died while building the TD 209, but finally it appears we managed to actually build a home defence droid that no amount of marauding looters will be able to overcome, it has in addition to it's massive firepower,  a solar panelled head which is providing enough energy that TD 209 will never stop patrolling even if there was a period of bad weather for upto 5 years, also an amazing addition I was personally responsible for is that the TD 209 can actually manufacture it's own bullets from scrape metal, you need to add certain chemicals for the gunpowder but stick a tin can in here and press this button and TD209 will squish it into a fairly decent 15mm round, the next upgrade TD 2.09" engineer chuckles "will do all that automatically"

On asking where exactly the place to put the Tin can was the engineer suggested I don't hold the can in such a proactive manner, apparently it could be mistaken for a stick or stone by the very sensitive TD209 software.

"It's gonna retail at around 5 million dollars so you should get a reservation in now" said the engineer as he took the Can from my hand, Slowly.

On being questioned about the ethics of such a Robot, the engineer replied, "look, I want to live on Mars"

[Colin2B]

WOKE WASH INCORPORATED !

Not sure what you think is a joke here, but you need to take some time out from this forum to reassess.

[Jolly2]

WOKE WASH INCORPORATED !

Not sure what you think is a joke here, but you need to take some time out from this forum to reassess.

It's a joke relative to the reality that indenity politics is little more then a current form of neo colonialism.  As critics such as journalists like Chris hedges amoung other like to point out.

Woke wash recruitment is the quintessential company for the progressive corporate future, Progressive slave drivers with biodegradable wips. I'd share a link but you currently wont let me. Maybe the joke is that some people dont seem to see that a persons sex, race, or physical features dont inherently make them moral actor or good decision maker. Black women can be fascist just as any other person can be, as it's a matter of choice not  physical features.

Would have been nice if you actually cited the joke as the justification for the 30 day ban. Ofourse I understand that our corporate overlords don't appreciate the joke as they have No sense of humour, or like people pointing agendas out. Just saying

I'm just waiting for it to bite them in the bum, as they will all be forced to wear dipers to compensate for centuries of Cis toilet privilege.  Beautiful future they are building, but then who cares about beauty when you're loaded?

[Jolly2]

SWAMPY TIMES T.N.T

Today's News Tommorrow.

WORLD CELEBRATES THE END OF THE GENDER PAY


Women across the world celebrated the news that the gender pay gap had finally ended. Elaine Musk and Jess Bezos have both been thanked and praised for changing names and adding the gender 'women' to their Facebook profiles.
Critics however have suggested that actually with so many rich men changing gender there is now clearly a pay gap for men and in related news Gimanie Greer was banned from Facebook for misogyny and daring to suggest the entire celebration was nonsense.

Elaine Musk was reported to be happy to have helped end the gender pay gap and was looking forward to being the first trans women to live on Mars, she was noted to have said  "changing my gender profile on facebook to 'women' was challenging, but my secretary after some arduous searching managed to find the Facebook profile edit section and the rest is history"

Jessica Besoz declined to comment, but insiders report she was annoyed that Ms Musk had copied her.

[Colin2B]

We all know what Woke Washing is, no need to link.
Just be aware that when operating in the area of bad taste you will get complaints and we will act, especially when they come from the public.

Would have been nice if you actually cited the joke as the justification for the 30 day ban.

it was only a couple of days, and it was cited. Just a warning shot.
It appears it was amended later

Ofourse I understand that our corporate overlords don't appreciate the joke as they have No sense of humour, or like people pointing agendas out. Just saying

Not quite taking the restrictions to heart are we? There aren’t an infinite number of warnings available and someone else might not be feeling lenient like me. Just saying.

[Jolly2]

We all know what Woke Washing is, no need to link.

I wasnt going to link to woke wash, I had to close it, too many corporate emails. Actually I was going to link to Chris hedges and a discussion about how the woke agenda is a new form of neo colonialism.

Just be aware that when operating in the area of bad taste you will get complaints and we will act, especially when they come from the public.

Did everyone get that, good.

Would have been nice if you actually cited the joke as the justification for the 30 day ban.

it was only a couple of days, and it was cited. Just a warning shot.
It appears it was amended later

Not much use if I cant see it.

Ofourse I understand that our corporate overlords don't appreciate the joke as they have No sense of humour, or like people pointing agendas out. Just saying

Not quite taking the restrictions to heart are we? There aren’t an infinite number of warnings available and someone else might not be feeling lenient like me. Just saying.

Well I wouldn't want to see not lenient.