[demografx]

I think we orgasm-program our bodies from past behavior, much like our body clock that expects daylight at a certain time period and gets thrown for a loop when we travel = jet lag.

[demografx]

Another POIS band tune "Let's don't do it in the road" , or less rudely "Why can't we be friends?"

 [] []

[demografx]

In the interest of promoting balance on the subject of abstinence:

"Modern research on abstinence
Since 1957, no ill effects have been shown to be associated with frequent sexual activity, and indeed many studies have demonstrated that it facilitates substantial health benefits. One study suggests that frequent ejaculation may lead to a lower risk of prostate cancer.[2] There have been numerous studies indicating that excessive repression of the sexual instinct leads to an increase in the overall level of aggression in a given society. For example, psychologist J.M. Prescott, in a cross-cultural investigation published in The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists (1975), found that societies forbidding premarital sex are plagued by acts of rage, and tend to have higher rates of crime and violence. Prescott also found a link between sexual repression and aggression, insensitivity, criminal behaviour, and a greater likelihood of killing and torturing enemies.

In 1997, Forbes Magazine reported on "one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency". Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal found that "men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards"; that is to say, those that engaged in sex more frequently enjoyed longer lives. The report also cited other studies to show that having sex even a few times a week may be associated with: improved sense of smell; reduced risk of heart disease; weight loss and overall fitness; reduced depression (in women); the relief or lessening of pain; less frequent colds and flu; better bladder control; better teeth; and improved prostate function. The report cited a study published by the British Journal of Urology International which indicated that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week."

Above excerpted from wikipedia

[SteveD]

I think we orgasm-program our bodies from past behavior, much like our body clock that expects daylight at a certain time period and gets thrown for a loop when we travel = jet lag.

That's an interesting thought. If that were true then it would seem, to me, that we could train our bodies, to the degree that it is sanely possible to 'cycle down' and live reasonably happy, contented, satisfied lives without orgasm. Around sanity, I know men who clam to be responsible for their nocturnal emission. I think that there are things I can do to influence the likelihood that I can decrease the possibility of nocturnal emission, like not fantasizing about being sexual with previous partners or imagining being sexual with women who I haven't been sexual with. I find that that choice dramatically increases the probability of NE's. Also, objectifying women or 'body parting'. Finally, 'intriguing' with women, which , for me , means sexualizing conversations with women through the use of double entendre, sexual inuenndo or sexualized humor. All that stuff just loads my central nervous system up with huge amounts of sexual energy , just looking for a place to release. Fortunately, EM's, for me, are infrequent and have nowhere near the same impact as an act of chosen orgasmic sexuality , for me. I know , clearly , that that is not the experience of a number of people on our beloved blog site,and that there is terrible suffering due to EM's. But major or minor impact, I want to reduce the disease as much as sanely, humanely possible,so I'm willing to, however imperfectly, surrender those three things.

[SteveD]

In the interest of promoting balance on the subject of abstinence:

"Modern research on abstinence
Since 1957, no ill effects have been shown to be associated with frequent sexual activity, and indeed many studies have demonstrated that it facilitates substantial health benefits. One study suggests that frequent ejaculation may lead to a lower risk of prostate cancer.[2] There have been numerous studies indicating that excessive repression of the sexual instinct leads to an increase in the overall level of aggression in a given society. For example, psychologist J.M. Prescott, in a cross-cultural investigation published in The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists (1975), found that societies forbidding premarital sex are plagued by acts of rage, and tend to have higher rates of crime and violence. Prescott also found a link between sexual repression and aggression, insensitivity, criminal behaviour, and a greater likelihood of killing and torturing enemies.

In 1997, Forbes Magazine reported on "one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency". Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal found that "men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards"; that is to say, those that engaged in sex more frequently enjoyed longer lives. The report also cited other studies to show that having sex even a few times a week may be associated with: improved sense of smell; reduced risk of heart disease; weight loss and overall fitness; reduced depression (in women); the relief or lessening of pain; less frequent colds and flu; better bladder control; better teeth; and improved prostate function. The report cited a study published by the British Journal of Urology International which indicated that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week."

Above from wikipedia

LOL...When my partner and I began to go to couple therapy two months ago, he asked me "Steve, what do you want from therapy" I said "I want to be able to come five times a day and maintain the benefits of chastity!" ...Enough of this chastity talk. Nothing engenders hate, shame and fear like this topic...

[demografx]

Enough of this chastity talk.

So far, Steve, this is the only thing that you have said that I strongly disagree with. Abstinence/chastity is a crucial subject for POIS. It is even a key point in Dr. Waldinger's paper.

[demografx]

...it would seem, to me, that we could train our bodies, to the degree that it is sanely possible to 'cycle down' and live reasonably happy, contented, satisfied lives without orgasm.

I moderately disagree. []

[SteveD]

Enough of this chastity talk.

So far, Steve, this is the only thing that you have said that I strongly disagree with. Abstinence/chastity is a crucial subject for POIS. It is even a key point in Dr. Waldinger's paper.

There is a prayer that makes me laugh and that I like a lot. It goes "God, give me wisdom, but not so much wisdom I end up with no friends"... LOL []

[SteveD]

...it would seem, to me, that we could train our bodies, to the degree that it is sanely possible to 'cycle down' and live reasonably happy, contented, satisfied lives without orgasm.

I moderately disagree. []

PS When you get to 1000 posts will you get to be Jesus Member? ...Just funnin' ya

[demografx]

When you get to 1000 posts will you get to be Jesus Member? ...Just funnin' ya

" Jesus Member Funnin' " ?

OK, I'll ignore that, although others here might not wish to.

[demografx]

DR. MARCEL WALDINGER: UPDATE

(I've been keeping up my end of the correspondence with Dr. Waldinger, some email, passing on a question that B_Jim had about cortisol and also trying to get feedback on if/when he can assist us more directly - Demo)


January 10, 2009

Dear [Demo],
 
Thank you for your e-mail. As said, I will try to focus more on POIS in the next months. I will keep you updated.
 
With best regards,
 
Dr. M.D. Waldinger

[SteveD]

"A lover always thinks of his mistress first and himself second; with a husband it runs the other way," "The more one judges, the less one loves." ??

(Just giving you a hard time, Steve [])

When you get to 1000 posts will you get to be Jesus Member? ...Just funnin' ya

OK, I'll ignore that, although others here might not wish to.

Hmmm,

Not quite the rhythm I was expecting, but if that hurt you Demo...my humble apologies. You can see why comedy is not my profession...

[demografx]

Enough of this chastity talk. Nothing engenders hate, shame and fear like this topic...

I hope I wasn't too curt or abrupt, Steve, when I responded to some of your points above very briefly ("moderately disagree" or "strongly disagree"). I would really like to respect your personal view and stated wish to be done with chastity/abstinence chat.

However, I thoroughly welcome - from anyone - any and all continued discussion on the subject of chastity or abstinence, both pro and con.

As I mentioned, I consider it a crucial topic to POIS and as we are mature adults, I do not feel there is any need to discuss it here with any "hate, shame or fear".

[demografx]

Hmmm,

Not quite the rhythm I was expecting, but if that hurt you Demo...my humble apologies. You can see why comedy is not my profession...

No, Steve, as I mentioned, the comedic Jesus reference did not offend me, but I am concerned about others here who have expressed certain religious beliefs.

[SteveD]

Hmmm,

Not quite the rhythm I was expecting, but if that hurt you Demo...my humble apologies. You can see why comedy is not my profession...

No, Steve, as I mentioned, the comedic Jesus reference did not offend me, but I am concerned about others here who have expressed certain religious beliefs.

Newbie, Jr. Member, Full Member, Sr. Member, Hero Member, Jesus Member...If you have to explain the jokes they are no good.

I am a cradle Episcopalian and was asked by the Catholic church to become a monk in 94 and the Episcopal church to become a priest in 88.
If humor and the word Jesus are not compatible here, I can easily respect those boundaries, Daddy-o

[demografx]

If humor and the word Jesus are not compatible here, I can easily respect those boundaries, Daddy-o

Fine. But I can do without the sarcastic "Daddy-o".

[SteveD]

After a lot of prayer and mediation I've decided I'm going to start working on the phase of POIS that immediately precedes orgasm...genital sexuality. After squarely facing POIS for 18 years and now feeling content and satisfied I'm remembering an old saying "If you're not moving forward, then you're moving backward". I can feel some very, very strong pulls to engage in behaviors that would be clearly bad for me, because I'm not trying as hard to 'do the next right thing' to solve the POIS...so, I'm simply not trying. I'm seeing that that's not healthy for me. I like feeling 'normal', but I'm seeing that I need to continue to strive, regardless of where I am, to stay healthy.....So, I'm taking my partner out to the very finest restaurant in San Francisco tomorrow night, for our first time. I'm working a 6 hour day tomorrow, which is up for me, since I haven't been able to be fully at work the last 20 months, because I was so absorbed in the POIS problem. I can really be there for those three people. I can breathe in deeply, do a bit of yoga, write my partner her daily card...and intermittently pray.I think I might just be fine without genital sexuality, just for one day...Onward

[demografx]

I think the "joylessness" of others' reactions [to POIS] might be some version of fear. Health issues with a baffling tinge to them (like POIS and CFS) sometimes freak people out, in ways that they aren't even aware of.

Girlwind, do you think that could explain the poor reactions many of us have received from the medical community?

[demografx]

Well, Martin is still waiting for air tickets from Counterpoints for the POIS Retreat. If they don't arrive soon, we'll have to use this space for The POIS Band - rehearsals and living quarters!

[longwalkhome]

The POIS retreat ... sounds lovely - I could use a bit of a break right about now

Anyway, I just wanted to give a quick Fenugreek update. I took around five capsules of Fenugreek every day for about a month. It apparently killed most of my headaches, and some other minor Pois issues at first, but after a while I felt like I'd fully relapsed into the vicious Pois cycle. I stopped taking the supplement after that and went on with my personal life as before. But after stopping my regular Fenugreek in-take, I suddenly felt much worse after orgasm. I don't know how to describe this, but I do know that I was able to think a lot more clearly under Fenugreek than before - maybe the symptoms really had decreased, but I was just a little more aware of how I was doing than I used to be under the usual emotional numbness of Pois?

Anyway, I started taking the capsules again some days ago, and I'll see how it goes. I'm sorry I don't contribute much to the discussion. I'm afraid I'm unable to "keep up" with the high level of pioneering and experimenting everybody on here provides on such a regular basis. I'm still reading this and checking for new posts every day, though. Let me know if there's anything I can do to contribute here (I know about the questionaire, of course!).