[EvaH (OP)]

Mattias asks:

When is the sexual identity of a person decided? Meaning what gender they feel they belong to, as well as sexual preferences.

Can you help?

[Bored chemist]

A friend of mine recently changed her (formerly his) gender. She's about 50 years old. She was married and has teenage kids.

[guest45734]

Mattias asks:

When is the sexual identity of a person decided? Meaning what gender they feel they belong to, as well as sexual preferences.

Can you help?

As I understand it a persons sexual orientation is decided in the womb it is not to do with education. A persons behaviour can be taught in early childhood. In Polynesia some boys are brought up to behave and dress like girls, this does not stop them from marrying and having children, after all boys will be boys?. It is thought in transgender people that they may be born with the wrong brain. It doesnt matter if a person is gay or straight they can still be  gay(in the old sense of the word)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroscience_of_sex_differences https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/05/22/transgender-brain-scans-promised-study-shows-structural-differences/

[guest45734]

The mothers hormones during pregnancy play a significant role in fetal brain development, pop science link A http://www.childhealth-explanation.com/fetaldevelopment.html . Interestingly the fathers and grandfathers life experiences can also apparently affect babies development. https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2018/10/17/Study-shows-how-fathers-experiences-pass-to-offspring-via-sperm/7691539782679/

[Edwina Lee]

Getting the terminology accurate is the 1st essential step in discussing sex/gender issues.
Historically, our language/culture assumes that there can only be male or female, and nothing in between. (Binary sex).
Modern scientific studies see the real world as it really is.
The terminologies are truly confusing because lots of words have been used to describe a myriad of phenomena as knowledge is accumulated and discussed.
As I sense it, people in this field of studies are rapidly converging towards a unified view.
Gender Dysphoria (i.e. mismatch of gender and physical characteristics) is a medical diagnosis for transgender/transexual people. Is it not true that LGBTQI (i.e.Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Intersex)  people can all be seen as having a life that does not quite match the traditional expectation for their physical sexuality?
So the world of people is made up of people who align with the traditional expectation of their physical sex, and those who don't.
These words are useful for discussion:- {gender, sexuality, sexual orientation}
Gender is the role one plays;
Sexuality is the physical aspects of appearance & organs;
Sexual orientation is who one fancies;

[duffyd]

 The moment I saw Gina Lollobrigida is a bathing suit.

[vhfpmr]

The story of David Reimer might be of interest:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer
John Money doesn't come out of it particularly well.

A friend of mine recently changed her (formerly his) gender. She's about 50 years old. She was married and has teenage kids.

I used to have a boss who was transsexual in the mid 1980s. He originally worked in a military division of the company, but was transferred to our lab in a civil division after he announced he was going to change, presumably on security grounds. Times we a lot less PC in those days, and to say there was a lot of ribald humour was something of an understatement, the atmosphere was electric when she was seen dancing & snogging with one of the engineers at the 1984 Christmas party.

I've always been curious how many live to regret their decision.

[alancalverd]

It's important to distinguish between sex (determined by chromosomes) and gender. What you are is immutable, how  you behave isn't.

The only serious problem arises in those sports where the Y chromosome confers physical advantages that, if unchecked, would effectively disbar half the population from elite competition or even amateur kickabouts if male athletes could choose to compete with females on grounds of choice or inclination.  I've enjoyed mixed hockey and lacrosse, but if we didn't segregate the sexes at 12 years old for rugby, I doubt that many girls would want to continue to senior teams. Off the pitch is different. I have a male friend who played soccer at a serious club level but chose to live as a woman the rest of the time, and made the surgical transition when his playing days were over. No big deal, and she's as welcome in the bar as any other ex-player.