[Andrew K Fletcher (OP)]

Police raided a playground in London, and caught three boys drinking car battery acid. The police added, we have now put them all on a charge [:p]

[simeonie]

Ye they also found some eating fireworks but the police let them off!

Badaboom!

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-__- my website!!!!
http://www.simeonie.co.uk
has forums too!
Think about it! lolz

[chris]

Odd as it sounds, and this really isn't a joke, BP have produced a mix of unleaded (unleaded LITE) aimed principally at the Australian market and intended to deter people (particularly Aborigines) from sniffing petrol !

This practice is a big problem in Australia, and the new low-sniff-index fuels have been on sale for about 6 months now and apparently work.

Chris

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception"
 - Groucho Marx

[daveshorts]

Does petrol have similar physiological effects to lighter fluids and other solvents?

[Ultima]

Wait what could the police charge you with for drinking battery acid? Plus wouldn't that completely burn out their oesophagus?

wOw the world spins?

[chris]

Yep.

It works in the same way as volatile gaseous general anaesthetics like halothane, or sivaflurane.

The mechanism is unclear, but probably relates to altering selective membrane protein function - e.g. increasing the permeability to potassium and hence hyper-polarising (de-exciting) nerve cells.

Chris

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception"
 - Groucho Marx

[chris]

I guess those kids were getting confused with another type of acid, and I don't mean deoxyribonucleic acid either !

Chris

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception"
 - Groucho Marx

[Andrew K Fletcher (OP)]

A friend of mine went into Boots Chemist and asked for some card, some string and some cotton wool. The pharmy asked her why she needed them, she said she was going to make some Tampons. The Pharmy relied; We sell those. She added “Naaa it’s cheaper to roll my own.

[chris]

keep em coming... thanks for feedback by the way. much gratitude.

C

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception"
 - Groucho Marx

[Andrew K Fletcher (OP)]

Went to the local Chinese restaurant and ordered a duck dish. Noticed the lid kept popping up and two eyes staring at me, this happened a few times so I called the Waiter and told him. He said, well you did order a peaking duck Sir.


Anyone head of the African “OomeGooly” Tribe or the “wherethehellarewe” Tribe?

Apparently, the Oomegooly tribe are short in stature and live in relatively long spiky grassland and can be heard shouting Oo Me Goolies as they run through it. On the other hand, the wherethehellarewetribe live in long elephant grass and can be seen bobbing up and down shouting Wherethehellarewe.

Your welcome re: feed back, your forum deserves it!

[Andrew K Fletcher (OP)]

Grandad was watching his grandson trying to get a worm back in the hole. He said to his grandson, if you can find a way to do that i'll give you £20.00.

The grandson painted starch on the worm and it went stiff as a poker, he then pushed the worm back in the hole. Grandad was impressed.

The next day the grandson came to collect his £20.00 and sure enough his grandad held true to his word. And added an extra £20.00 from his grandma

[chris]

Did grandma know ?

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception"
 - Groucho Marx

[simeonie]

erm andrew that woz really random

----------------------
-__- my website!!!!
http://www.simeonie.co.uk
has forums too!
Think about it! lolz

[Andrew K Fletcher (OP)]

The new womans bra is leading the field. It's called the SheepDog Bra

Apparently it rounds them up and points them out

"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"

[Andrew K Fletcher (OP)]

Son visiting his father in a rest home asks if everything is ok in the new home and that they are providing him with food and entertainment, and that he is getting his medications ok.

He replies its ok, I get three meals a day, everyone fine, television or radio and we even get to play games before bedtime.

Sons says what about your medication?
Father replies, Yes, I get my heart pills, water pills and a viagra every night.

Puzzled his son goes off to question the care assistant about the meds, saying, I understand you giving him his heart pills and water pills, but can't understand why you give an 87 year old man a viagra pill every night?

She replied, we give these to the older man to stop them rolling over and falling out of bed.

"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"