[Donnah]

Bar gin.  Bin there.

[demografx (OP)]

Done vat.

[demografx (OP)]

Award ceremony speech pre-edit:

Don_1 is hereby abduc...inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!

                           

[demografx (OP)]

"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."

I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.

Why this infringement on our ight to copy or plagiarize ideas with abandon?

Or is the idea now to say, "Oh, don't worry, I'll get around to it orrow. Or whenever."?


Let's work this out like gentlemen. Please have your barrister/lawyer call my lawyer at 1-800-LET'S-SUE*.


*Toll free - applies to Dominican Republic only. Elsewhere, outrageous, illegal, ultra-usurious charges apply. This cleverly disguised "toll free call" (haha) is not intended to be a blatant scam for my personal profit. Like my own little piggy bank. Oh no! It is merely there to help defray my legal expenses in a disgustingly litigious society such as ours. See you all in court!

[demografx (OP)]

The Alcohol Of Fame could use a mascot...hmmm...do you have his phone number at the bar?

Might he work for bar nuts?

[Don_1]

Need his phone number eh? Don't worry, ah mond the case, just been pecan in the directory, but no luck there. Just in cash ew are worried, hey, zel time to find it.

Last I heard of him, his wife was having trouble with a particular undergarment. She said "Oh dear, my bra's ill." and made a bolt for the door.

[demografx (OP)]

Is that it in a nutshell? That's the nuttiest thing I ever heard. Bolt who am I to question your credentials?

Almond joying myself.

[Don_1]

I used to like that diving couple, you may remember them, Almond & Michaela Denis.

Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself......... Soaked nuts anybody?

[demografx (OP)]

Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself.........

It's contagious, I tell you!

An elderly gent walked into an ice cream parlour and struggled to the counter. "Give me a chocolate sundae please." He said to the girl serving. She asked him "Crushed nuts Grandpa?" He replied, "No, rheumatism."

Yeah, no rheum at the inn, either!

[Don_1]

Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.

Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".

The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."

The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."

Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."

Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."

Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"

Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.

Here the story endeth.


Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.

[demografx (OP)]

Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.

Don't worry, Don!

Just use that portable pocket cooling fan I sent you for Xmas!!

[Don_1]

YIKES!!! I'm off out 'a here......


 [ Invalid Attachment ]

[demografx (OP)]

[demografx (OP)]

Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.

Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".

The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."

The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."

Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."

Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."

Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"

Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.

Here the story endeth.


Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.

Don_1 is unstoppable! (And funny!)

[demografx (OP)]

April 1 is
April Fools  or All Fools Day


I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.

[Don_1]

I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.

I had to get some petrol (gas), so I said to the attendant, "Fuel it up, 10ltrs."

He said, "Shell?"

"No!" Exclaimed I, "Unleaded!"

He said, after filling, "That'll be £67 please."

"WHAT!? I said 10 ltrs."

"Sorry, I thought you said fill it up."

"NO NO NO, you burk! FUEL it up, fuel!!!!"

"Its ok sir", said he, "April fool, I only put in 10 ltrs really."

But I had the last laugh, I paid the £67 he asked for. "Now who's the April fool?" said I.

April 1 is
April Fools  or All Fools Day

Its not my birthday today. Is it???

[demografx (OP)]

You "had the last laugh"!!!! Haha!

[Donnah]

Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!

[demografx (OP)]

Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!

Yes, it's a shame.

And Canadian oil executives are always using crude language.

[Don_1]

Here in the UK, the government see's it as its duty to keep putting up fuel prices.

As I filled up my tank, chancellor George Osborne said "Well done, and you have been."