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Award ceremony speech pre-edit:Don_1 is hereby abduc...inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.
Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself.........
An elderly gent walked into an ice cream parlour and struggled to the counter. "Give me a chocolate sundae please." He said to the girl serving. She asked him "Crushed nuts Grandpa?" He replied, "No, rheumatism."
Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.
Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.Here the story endeth.Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.
I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.
April 1 isApril Fools or All Fools Day
Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!