[demografx (OP)]

I hope I don't get a ribbing for that. Demo can be quite sternum at times.

Whew!

I'm sooooooooo glad you got THAT off your chest! []

[demografx (OP)]

"Ghouls without saying"?

WHOOOOSHhhhh


"Wow!!! What was that?
"I don't know, it went without saying."

Mod edit - the above animated-emoticon was brazenly plagiarized from Don_1 November 11, 2011 @ 04:05PM PDT. Scotland Yard advised.

[Don_1]

"Hey!" Said Coropral Ricky, "That's a swizz."
"Are you sure rick?" Retorted Gen Eva, "if so may he Berne in hell. Pvt. Lucy, do your worst on him."
"Yeah Luc earn your wages and set light to his wohlen jumper."


From the above, you may deduce that I am off on my travels again at the weekend. Zurich for a few days. You could say I'm on a roll, ..............
Altogether now........ a...........
Swiss Roll  []

[demografx (OP)]

I will certainly refrain from making any cheesy comments.

[Don_1]

I wanted to know the best time to see the Dales, so I asked a local 'Wens le dale in full flower?'. He seemed to take umbrage to my query and muttered "Grrr you're just another tourist, there's still tons of flowers in bloom."

Another local said, "Eee dam you, you old codger. I'll tell him. Go down by the medevil fort for a good view. The rock fort is a popular site."

"Thank you Mr?" I queried.

"Just call me Chedwin." He responded.

"Ched, ah an unusual name these days" I said.

"Eee man tell him some other places," piped up another local, "and tell him the whey to brie sure he gets there."

[Don_1]

It was a lovely day at the fair, so I came an' Bert.


Hehehe, I slipped in a krafty one there.

[Don_1]

Such a lovely day it was, that I sat on the green sward.



"OUCH! Who left this sword lying around?"

[demografx (OP)]

It was a lovely day at the fair, so I came an' Bert.


Hehehe, I slipped in a krafty one there.

Oh, Don, admit it! You are writing all these lovely but cheesy puns so you can brag once again about all your highflying Swiss travels and conquests !

[Don_1]

Cheesy puns? Now there's food for thought.

I wonder if brains would be good food for thought.

Eyeballs good for vision. Pigs trotters good for marathon runners.

Mussels good for weight lifters.

Sausages good for...........

[demografx (OP)]

[demografx (OP)]

December is
Quince and Watermelon Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/watermelon.html






I know what you're all thinking, "Demo, water you ranting about NOW???"

But it's really just a quinceidence that this is a sweet month.

Maybe Don will re-do the definition ?

[Don_1]

Ah! The quinceessntial month of December approaches. (Excuse me London accent).

Yes, here I cydonia my chair getting the pip over a large fruit. I can get very pithy about this sort of thing. Such a fruitless excersize. And does anyone invite me arind their gaff to partake of these natural delights? Its no coquinceidence that they don't.

"How much is that melon mate?"
"To you guv, it'll be two quince."
"Shouldn't that be 'two quid'?"
"You read your script, I'll read mine."

[demografx (OP)]

(Excuse me London accent).

What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married?

Can't elope.

[Don_1]

Oh my gourd, where's 'er indoors?

"Honey, dew my medication now, I musk have it, I'm going to that galia meeting of the Punster Society tonight. I don't want to show myself up like last time, when I called the Chairman 'Sugar', that's har al y need".

Now that's what you call a contrived pun!

[demografx (OP)]

...I called the Chairman 'Sugar'...

Cane sugar can't be beet.

[demografx (OP)]

"Honey, dew my medication now...

Before we married, I told my wife, "Honey, dew you realize we cantaloupe because they would banana from traveling to chili."

[Don_1]

...I called the Chairman 'Sugar'...

Cane sugar can't be beet.

No, but you can whisk it.

[Don_1]

With all this eloping in mind, I have decided to get religion.

I shall become a spiritualist. Apparently, after drinking a bottle of Scotch or some other strong spirit you list to one side or the other and then start singing 'Aisle be seeing you in all the old familiar places'. But after so much drink, you must not go anywhere via car or the police will priest you to alter your ways.

When the effect of the drink has worn off, you get an unholy pain in the temple and are liable to pewk.

[demografx (OP)]

Have faith, Don, a bolt of enlightenment will hit you slowly, but not rite away.

[Don_1]

Have faith, Don,

I would have Faith, but she want's nothing to do with me, so I'll try Christine instead.