[demografx (OP)]

[demografx (OP)]

December 2 - tomorrow
Is National Mutt Day
http://m.examiner.com/examiner/pm_60901/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=lFm2OmJm

I hope this post breeds more awareness of our scruffier canine friends.

Paws for a moment and consider their situation.

Don''t make them beg for your attention.

And if you're well-heeled, buy a mutt a manicure or pedicure. Today.

[Don_1]

Much as I love dogs, I could never keep one because we both work. It would be unfair to let a dog rot while ‘er indoors and myself are out all day.

Thought you were going to get off scottie free there didn’t you? I thought I’d poodle up to the pun to throw you off the scent. I can be a right little terrier at times.

Now where’s that young lad Jack? I’m getting hungry. “Oi Jack, russell up some grub will you. I wouldn’t mind a nice collieflower cheese.” I have to meet the Mrs at the station and setter on her way to the supermarket. She’ll hound me chronic if I don’t pointer in the right direction. Probably cut my trousers to shreds, so I’ll have my bum hanging out and peeking knees! She’s always calling me a tosa, just the slightest mistake and she tells me “Hold out your hand while I whippet.” 

I’d send the lad to it for me, but that would only throw a spaniel in the works and I’d still have to go to retriever anyway. When ‘er indoors gets in a tiz, it be goulish, I can tell you.

Right, best get off now, chow, chow.

[Don_1]

Stone me! Even I'm quite pleased with that post! Especially the tosa!



Good grief! even a smiley pun.... its Mutley!

[demografx (OP)]

Don wins the Perpetual Punning Dog Award!

[Don_1]

Ding goes the door bell. I open the door to find the neighbour standing there.
"Hi Ena" I say to her. She's quite a foxy lady.
"Have any spare milk? Our Johnny has wolfed down all of our's." she says in her husky voice. I invite her in to the kitchen.
"Doing anything special for Xmas?" she enqires.
"No, you're barking up the wrong tree there." I growl. "Are you expecting any good presents?" I continue.
"I doubt it" she replies "just the usual new pair of pants."
She sits on my lap and I cockern eye at her. I know where this is leading to. "Carefull" I say, "we don't want to get collared again for this hanky panky." I could tell you a tail or two, but I paws for the sake of good taste.
As she leaves, I say "Nice of you to come by." and we both howl with laughter.

[demografx (OP)]

"...Our Johnny has wolfed down all of our's".

Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.

[Don_1]

Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.

Better than being a loan dog fishshark!

"Hey! Mr Papadopalopalopalopadus, wanna borrow a few meillion Euros? Cheaper pryyce inteerrest, only 1001%."

[demografx (OP)]

Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.

Better than being a loan dog fish shark!

It's a shark-eat-shark world, I tell ya!

[demografx (OP)]

He was the most dishonest and cleverest card shark in the city, but the police said he will be dealt with.

[Don_1]

From your report with the Met Police.

I spoke to some of the officers under the command of Detective Inspector Ali B. Aster, just before they raided the shark’s illegal gaming den. I asked one of them, “Can Aster bring this card shark, Jack Dupp,  to book?”

The sergeant replied “Oh yes, we’ll get Black Jack, as he’s known in his club, bang to rights. I don’t want blow the DI’s trumpet, but he’s a good copper, a real diamond geezer.”

Dogs would not be used on this raid as the handler had to take some puppies to the vet to be spayed.

There was a great deal of tension in the air as we prepared to raid the club. The officers shuffled around and took up position. Then came the word to go. We rushed over the bridge and crashed through the door. The Sergeant was shouting “Armed police, nobody move, stay where you are and hit the deck.”

One of the players cried out “What the blinking hell’s going on? Have a heart this is my first time here. ”

Another said “I can’t stay down here for long, I’m getting old, you know.” The PC stood over him said “Don’t crib, ageism is against the Queen’s law. Others just stared poker faced at the floor.

DI Aster pulled Jack to his feet and said “This is a black day for you.” And then red him his rights. “I should have known this raid was on the cards.” said Jack "I saw it in the stars, the Moon was in line with Jupiter and acemetrical with Venus.

DI Aster poured a glass of orange duce and offer some to Jack, who shook his head. “Suit yourself.” The DI said. He looked around at all the gamblers and pointing to one table said “These are four of a kind. Looks like you had a full house here tonight.” He motioned to the sergeant and said “Right, take ‘em away.”

One pair of gamblers tried to make a wild break for it, but there were two pair of officers at the door who grabbed them and put them straight in the back of the van. “A right royal mess you jokers are in.” said one officer to them, "Well, you've had your chips now.

The officers left the club feeling flushed with success. The last one out called out the mowser, "Here kitty", closed and sealed the door behind him.

[demografx (OP)]

Don wins yet another Award!!!

[Don_1]

Thanks Demo. I have a space on my shelf to fill. That award should do the trick nicely.

[demografx (OP)]

Thanks Demo. I have a space on my shelf to fill. That award should do the trick nicely.

LOL, Don, you're such a card!

[Don_1]

DEMOGRAFX!!!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that December is Tie Month.



I pin this omission squarely on your shoulders. Usually I would bow to your superior knowledge on such matters, but, admit it, this time you've been collared.

I don't understand, I'm not a tricky dickie. Were you afraid I'd stitch you up like a kipper, or did you think I'd just tell you to get knotted?

I may forgive you, boot lacet time I do, so please keep us informed or I shall give it to you in the neck.

[demografx (OP)]

DEMOGRAFX!!!


Shame on you, you have failed to point out that December is Tie Month.

Oh no! I goofed! Horrifically!!! Will I have to tie one on in shame?? Your news just bowled me over.

You've exposed me for the tierant that I have always been.

The reason I couldn't post it was because I was tied up at the moment.

Don, next time please have more compassion when judging me: when I was once a sailor, I had ties to home but was knot there often.

[Don_1]

....... I was tied up at the moment.

One day your antics with that Au pair will get found out!


OK, you are forgiven this time, but any more omissions and it will be the rack for you or a spot of neck stretching. I’ll have no more slipping. That will become abundantly clear.

[demografx (OP)]

Anything but waterboarding! Last time you did that I was on a liquid diet for a whole week!

[demografx (OP)]

Will I have to tie one on in shame??

Too late! I missed Tie One On Day, November 23!

Will have to wait for next year's !
http://www.apronmemories.com/tie-one-on-day/

[Don_1]

Will I have to tie one on in shame??

Too late! I missed Tie One On Day, November 23!

I would taiwan on to cover my shy knees but I think I've a cold coming on, or some sort of germ anyway. I feel chile and so sick man, illa than you can imagine. I'd best eat something, like turkey, as they say you should feed a cold, though I don't feel hungary, or I're land up in bed for a few days. Of course 'er indoors will never believe it, I'll have to peruve it to her that I haves pain.

She'll just say 'get in dia van, burma bit of rubber and get going. Nor way am I letting you laze around before Xmas.'.