[demografx (OP)]

I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.

[Don_1]

I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.

"Bank to the left" said the instructor.
"Is it Barclays?" I retorted, "If it is, I'll drop this sick bag on Bob Diamond's head, that'll be one Bonus he wasn't reckoning on".


(I should point out that the flying school was Bonus Aviation, otherwise that last pun makes no sense. Not that I have a habit of making sense anyway).

[Donnah]

Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!!  Does this make you a bird brain?

I like your Bonus system for the banksters.

[demografx (OP)]

Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!!  Does this make you a bird brain?

Propellor-head?

[demografx (OP)]

I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.

Don_1 wins The Funny Nude Award!

[demografx (OP)]

I like your Bonus system for the banksters.

Are you implying that they're gangbankers??

[Don_1]

.........  Does this make you a bird brain?

What an insult! To birds......

[Don_1]

I put some magazines in an ovenproof dish and made a shortcrust pastry top for it. Cooked in a moderate oven for 45 mins.

I call it a Magpie.

Well you may ask, 'What is he crowing on about now?', and you might wonder if I have gone raven bonkers. I would ask my nieghbour, Jack, for his opinion om my mental state, but I am reluctant to knock on Jacksdoor since it is an awful shade of jayd, which makes me feel sick. I have said to him "Cor! Vus a sickly colour."

[Donnah]

Oh, I know Jack!  (Uh, oh oh, I think I just insulted myself.) Is it the Jack who lives at four and twenty Blackbird Lane?

[demografx (OP)]

Q. Where does a blackbird go for a drink?

A.  To a crow bar.

[JimBob]

Is that where you have a very slight shot at getting drunk and taking "advantage of" Sherill Crow?

[demografx (OP)]

Yes! In fact, Ms. Crow was once in the bar's telephone booth, but she had no money so she had to make a collect caw.

[demografx (OP)]

.......  Does this make you a bird brain?

What an insult! To birds......

[demografx (OP)]

Now I would reveal the coordinates of my aerial escapade so that you could avoid the vicinity for safety sake, {YIKES! Look out, RUN!}

Don't wait! Find out NOW when Don_1 is scheduled to fly near YOU!

Brought to you severely by the International Flight Safety Warning Patrol

[Don_1]

Hehehe, that poor fella must have been at 52⁰ 04' 08.20"N x 0⁰ 37' 12.91"W on Saturday.

[Don_1]

...... and now back to the puns.


It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.

[demografx (OP)]

Ma cawf went away after I took some strong  cawf syrup.

[demografx (OP)]

No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!

[demografx (OP)]

It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.

Oh caw'mon, Don, you know you just wanna wear it so you can show it off and caw crow about it.

[JimBob]

I thought you told me you had bought a MacIncaw