[demografx (OP)]

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'

That was hardly the altitude to take was it!

Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.

[demografx (OP)]

Gosh! Another award.

Can TNS afFord it?

No.

But TNS' CFO-comptroller is both religious and dyslexus, so he prays to his dog for your Car Award money.

[demografx (OP)]

It's April - we have only one more day to celebrate:
Car Care Month

Care for your car or suffer the carnsequences?


(TNS' company car)

[Don_1]

The wife and I always look after our car's chasis. Oh yes, car cares us.

Sue, the retired woman across the street, maintains her car on her retirement fund. Sue's pension just about covers the cost, then its exhausted. She rants and raves about it and its no use trying to silence 'er. I tried to tell her how Linda manages. "See Linda,
she's tearing up the road without problems, and oil be doing the same soon".

My auntie frees herself of such worries by using buses.

A new friend of President Eisenhower once went on record as saying, "My new mate Ike tyres of travel quickly.

[Don_1]

The Queen and the Prince of Wales have nice cars.

Elizabeth II has a plush Rolls Royce and as for Chas, 'is choice is an Aston Martin.

[Don_1]

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'

That was hardly the altitude to take was it!

Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.

I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.

[demografx (OP)]

I didn't know you cared that much!

[demografx (OP)]

Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html


When vegetables want to talk to petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

[demografx (OP)]

My car rots when the battery's dead.

[Karen W.]

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


"NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A CLOSE SHAVE.." AND "QUITE A GRATING EXPERIENCE!...." LOL....TALK ABOUT...."I'M GONNA SKIN YOUR HIDE.....!!!" BETTER YET.. "SKINNED
ALIVE...." LOL...LOL... "Whoops, I forgot to ask you if you wanted that little spud grated or sliced?..." LOL..LOL

[demografx (OP)]

Karen, is THAT what Don was worried about when he said...

I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.

[demografx (OP)]

I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.

Don't chute me for this, but did you know that the chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide?

[Don_1]

[ Invalid Attachment ]

I think its grate great.

[Don_1]

Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html

Does that mean we are in for another ear'ole bashing on the '5 a day' concept? We'll all end up with cauliflower ears.

Why aren't greens and parsnips included? This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.

[Don_1]

My car rots when the battery's dead.

Aye cid gest you top up the battery.

[Don_1]

I had a German sausage for breakfast today, it was the wurst I have ever tasted. The wife waffled something about complaining to the butcher, but I said I didn't need her to egg me on. The butcher asked if I had grilled the sausage, I repied to her enquiry "No marm I laid it on yon frying pan, though there wasn't mush room, it cooked OK."

[daveman]

One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.

[demografx (OP)]

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.

Father Cohen's assistant's salary is not much, but she makes up for it in tips.

[demografx (OP)]

Why aren't greens and parsnips included?

This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.

January is parsnips month.

But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.

Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.

[Don_1]

On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.

I don't want this post to get ugly, but I am passionate about fruit and treat it as the star of the table, pudding it above all else.

Stone me, I'm plum tuckered out.

Ooer, another Americanism.