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  4. Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
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Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx (OP)

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4320 on: 03/11/2015 19:57:30 »
Quote from: Don_1 on 01/11/2015 10:55:51

Quote from: demografx on 01/11/2015 05:23:35




…..and if you’re bald???







« Last Edit: 03/11/2015 19:59:36 by demografx »
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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4321 on: 04/11/2015 08:54:41 »
Quote from: demografx on 03/11/2015 19:52:33
Quote from: Don_1 on 01/11/2015 10:52:28
Quote from: demografx on 01/11/2015 05:02:53


Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????

Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough

I don't see this line of reasoning Göring anywhere! Nein! Schluss!




At a party banquet, Mrs Göring made some derogatory comments about silly moustaches, (I’ll speer you the details), but all agreed it was rude of hess wife to be so outspoken.
« Last Edit: 04/11/2015 09:26:57 by Don_1 »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4322 on: 04/11/2015 09:24:49 »
Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4323 on: 04/11/2015 09:32:35 »
Quote from: Don_1 on 04/11/2015 09:24:49
Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden.

Wasn't that just t' pitz!?
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4324 on: 04/11/2015 20:53:41 »
Quote from: Don_1 on 04/11/2015 09:24:49
Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden.

Beautiful garden, but one had to drive mheils and mheils of dusty, dirty back roads sieget there!

Ach!

Garden über alles!!


« Last Edit: 04/11/2015 20:58:47 by demografx »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4325 on: 04/11/2015 22:08:55 »
My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.

He's constantly writing me sentences that have
in them.


« Last Edit: 05/11/2015 02:53:19 by demografx »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4326 on: 04/11/2015 23:04:01 »
Quote from: demografx on 04/11/2015 22:08:55
My new friend from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.

He's constantly writing me sentences that have
in them.

S, s, I have seen them. Unfortunately he is suffering with a small bladder complaint at the moment. As you can guess t' po under his bed is essential.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4327 on: 04/11/2015 23:17:51 »
Don't you mean "substantial"?
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4328 on: 04/11/2015 23:27:28 »
Before I act rashly, I am reminded when confronting a tough dilemma, "I should first Müller this over, sleep on it -- before reichacting foolishly."


« Last Edit: 05/11/2015 02:03:33 by demografx »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4329 on: 05/11/2015 02:09:04 »
Quote from: demografx on 04/11/2015 22:08:55

My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...


Above edit to Reply #4325 --- top of page



« Last Edit: 05/11/2015 02:51:42 by demografx »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4330 on: 05/11/2015 03:06:58 »
Quote from: Don_1 on 31/10/2015 01:00:33
I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'

When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.

After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.


Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.

Don_1 yet again wins an Award for puns that comb not be beat!


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4331 on: 05/11/2015 09:20:57 »
Last time I went to the barber, I asked him if he could do something different with my hair. He gave me a No. 2 all over (as usual) swept up the cuttings from the floor and threw them out of the window. I gave him a puzzled look. He said, "Usually I would throw it in the bin, but you wanted me to do something different with it so...."

Perhaps that'll teach me to be a little more concise.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4332 on: 05/11/2015 09:31:21 »
It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4333 on: 19/11/2015 12:19:44 »
November 19th.

Today is National Blow Bagpipes Day Coincidentally it is also National Have a Bad Day Day.

What’s more today is also Nouveau Beaujolais Day and World Toilet Day, another coincidence???
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4334 on: 19/11/2015 12:35:03 »
It was the Scottish Indoor Tennis Championships.

In the bar a bowl of peanuts was accidentally knocked on to the floor.
“Guve me the Hoover, Jock, I’ll clean that oop.” Said a barman.
“Och, I’m afraid the Hoover is broken Jimmy.” Replied the head barman.
“Oh dear ohh dear. If we’ve got no vac Jock, I’ll fetch the dustpan & brush then.
“Och, that’s andy, murry-up then afore they get trodden into the carpet.”
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4335 on: 20/11/2015 01:01:58 »
Quote from: Don_1 on 19/11/2015 12:19:44

Today is World Toilet Day










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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4336 on: 23/11/2015 00:46:03 »
Perhaps that'll teach him not to pick hard on the toilet roll in future.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4337 on: 24/11/2015 00:58:44 »
Did you spock the pun in my last post?
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4338 on: 24/11/2015 15:18:05 »
Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!
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"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
 
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4339 on: 25/11/2015 00:38:43 »
Its tissue Jim, but not as we know it.

Now what do I do about the Klingons?

I blame the height of the pan, its just su lu.

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