[demografx (OP)]

…..and if you’re bald???

[Don_1]

Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals?

Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough

I don't see this line of reasoning Göring anywhere! Nein! Schluss!

At a party banquet, Mrs Göring made some derogatory comments about silly moustaches, (I’ll speer you the details), but all agreed it was rude of hess wife to be so outspoken.

[Don_1]

Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden.

[Don_1]

Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden.

Wasn't that just t' pitz!?

[demografx (OP)]

Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden.

Beautiful garden, but one had to drive mheils and mheils of dusty, dirty back roads sieget there!

Ach!

Garden über alles!!

[demografx (OP)]

My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.

He's constantly writing me sentences that have
in them.

[Don_1]

My new friend from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.

He's constantly writing me sentences that have
in them.

S, s, I have seen them. Unfortunately he is suffering with a small bladder complaint at the moment. As you can guess t' po under his bed is essential.

[demografx (OP)]

Don't you mean "substantial"?

[demografx (OP)]

Before I act rashly, I am reminded when confronting a tough dilemma, "I should first Müller this over, sleep on it -- before reichacting foolishly."

[demografx (OP)]

My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...

Above edit to Reply #4325 --- top of page

[demografx (OP)]

I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'

When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.

After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.


Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.

Don_1 yet again wins an Award for puns that comb not be beat!

[Don_1]

Last time I went to the barber, I asked him if he could do something different with my hair. He gave me a No. 2 all over (as usual) swept up the cuttings from the floor and threw them out of the window. I gave him a puzzled look. He said, "Usually I would throw it in the bin, but you wanted me to do something different with it so...."

Perhaps that'll teach me to be a little more concise.

[Don_1]

It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."

[Don_1]

November 19th.

Today is National Blow Bagpipes Day Coincidentally it is also National Have a Bad Day Day.

What’s more today is also Nouveau Beaujolais Day and World Toilet Day, another coincidence???

[Don_1]

It was the Scottish Indoor Tennis Championships.

In the bar a bowl of peanuts was accidentally knocked on to the floor.
“Guve me the Hoover, Jock, I’ll clean that oop.” Said a barman.
“Och, I’m afraid the Hoover is broken Jimmy.” Replied the head barman.
“Oh dear ohh dear. If we’ve got no vac Jock, I’ll fetch the dustpan & brush then.
“Och, that’s andy, murry-up then afore they get trodden into the carpet.”

[demografx (OP)]

Today is World Toilet Day

[Don_1]

Perhaps that'll teach him not to pick hard on the toilet roll in future.

[Don_1]

Did you spock the pun in my last post?

[Karen W.]

Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!

[Don_1]

Its tissue Jim, but not as we know it.

Now what do I do about the Klingons?

I blame the height of the pan, its just su lu.