What should you do if a lift cable snaps?

Do animals lower their mating standards when drunk? Why do different farts make different noises? What should you do if your lift cable snaps? Were there two Earths at one point? Where do mosquitoes go during the day? Is tinnitus always a ringing sound? Is Teflon safe to use? Is there such thing as a universal frame of reference? Dr Chris Smith and Clarence Ford have all the answers...